Finding myself outside the mouth of a cold, dark cave with Tubby, especially after  dark, is not something I would have imagined myself doing. It wasn't that Tubby was stupid or anything, but his plans just seemed to have a way of landing us in trouble. Like the time he helped me get my cat, Ziggy, out of a tree with my dad's frog gig. Tubby prodded the cat gently, causing it to dive out of the tree, across our fence, landing on Ole Lady Myrtle's head. It seems she always had her hair in curlers with a fishnet over them. Ziggy got his claws 'tangled in that net and the fight was on. Ole Lady Myrtle was flailing her arms, screaming, and running as if being attacked by a full sized Bobcat. I can't ever remember her moving as fast as she did that day. Ziggy was all the while running in place as if stuck on a treadmill at high speed. When the two finally separated, Ziggy was trying to run for his life with his left front and right rear legs still tangled in the net, and Ole Lady Myrtle was throwing everything she could grab, trying to end Ziggy's existence. After that day, after Dad came home, Ole Lady Myrtle gave one of her finest 'performances, explaining how Tubby and I had tried to kill her by sicking that wild beast on her. Tubby got sent home and I got the seat of my pants heated.

         Now here I am following him into this creepy old cave in the middle of the night.

        "For Pete's sake what am I thinking?" I wondered, "What if our parents find out?"

        "Have you got the flashlights Jake?" Tubby asked. "I thought you had them," I replied.

       "Just kidding, of course I got them," Tubby smirked, waving the flashlights toward the sky like an air traffic controller trying to land a plane. Tubby wasn't stupid, but he wasn't a genius either. Of course, what can you expect from a second grader, I was not too far ahead in the brains category or I wouldn't have been there at that moment in time.

       "Turn out the lights quick, it's Myrtle the Turtle! I exclaimed, as we both dropped to the ground like two commandos that had just avoided capture. We could see Ole Lady Myrtle looking down from her bedroom window as if she were a prison guard in a tower. Her hair was in curlers, as usual, with a new fishnet over them, her nose looking like a turtle's beak, and her chin almost nonexistent. Her shell was an oversized bath robe with a huge collar in which her head and neck would seemingly retract as she turned her back to the window. "Wow! That was close," I whispered.

      "Sure was," Tubby agreed. Carefully, we turned our attention back to the cave.

       Thick, leafy vines hung down over the entrance, making it a wonderful hideout for all sorts of creepy crawlers. "Are you sure there are no bears in this cave Tubby?" I asked.

       "Aw Jake don't be a sissy." Tubby replied. "We're men, we can handle anything." I began questioning my manhood, as we drew closer to the entrance.

       The opening of the cave was round and just large enough for us to crawl into on our hands and knees. A small stream of black water spilled from the mouth as if the cave were alive and drooling. I could feel its cool, rancid smelling breath as I parted the vines with my trembling hands. "Go on Jake," Tubby charged.

     "It was your ideal Tubby," I entreated.

     "Don't be a pansy," he replied "I'll protect you." Tubby was big for his age, with red hair and freckles, he was a little flabby, but strong. All the bullies at school gave him distance and though I was smaller than most, being Tubby's best friend kept me off limits for their harassment as well.

     I guess I kind of owed him. "Ok, I'll go first," I conceded.

     Parting the vines I could see things falling to the ground then scurrying into the shadows. "What are you waiting for?" Tubby asked, giving me a light shove.

     "I'm going, I'm going," I said, pushing back against his hands with my shoulders.

Shining my flashlight through the opening revealed a green, slimy, moss growing over the rocks and debris on the cave's floor. I took a deep breath and entered. I could feel the cold water instantly soak through my pants legs, my left hand sliding off the slippery rocks while I held the flashlight with my right. Squishy forms wiggled and squirmed under my hand as I jerked it back. Shining the light down I saw two salamanders slithering away frantically. Just ahead, the blackness swallowed the dim beam of my totally inadequate light. I could imagine crawling down the throat of large, hungry serpent.

      "Hurry up, I'm right behind you," Tubby called in an anxious tone. I had almost forgotten about Tubby being there.

      "Be brave," I whispered to myself as I began to crawl. Gazing further down the serpent's gullet, I caught a glimpse of something ahead an obscured outline slowly moving toward us, its eyes flickering wildly.

      "Something's coming, let's get out of here," I screamed back at Tubby. At that moment we heard a growl from behind us.

       "Heeaarr!"

       "It's a bear!" Tubby shouted. "It's got me" he cried hopelessly. A steaming liquid hit me in the face burning my eyes and choking me.

       "Heeaarrr!" I heard again from behind, as I felt the bear's claw grasp my belt and drag me out of the cave.

       "Agggh!" I screamed, in a high-pitched voice like a girl.

       "I told you kids not to play in that old drain, it's very dangerous," my father said angrily. "Ran into a skunk Huh, Jake, your mother's going to tan your hide boy, "he barked. "And you Tubby, I guess I'll have to take you home, can't you two stay out of trouble? It's a good thing Ms. Myrtle called when she did, there's no telling what else might have happened," he said, dragging us both by the arms through her yard to the back of our house.

       Tubby could not help laughing as Father took a water hose to me. As I looked up toward the guard tower I could see Myrtle the Turtle peering down with a smile on her beak, chuckling. "Busted once again," I sighed.

      My parents have both passed away. I still live in the same house using my old bedroom as an office. Now in my forties, I look back with great affection at the adventures Tubby and I had. Being an accountant, my greatest exploits now consist of battling numbers on other's tax returns with a pen and a calculator. Tubby has long since moved away. I heard he became an investment broker. I can still imagine him on a yacht somewhere fighting off pirates with a sword. As for Myrtle the Turtle, she still lives next door, an ever present sentinel still guarding the old drain from young neighborhood adventurers. Occasionally, when I have my office window open, I can hear her voice screeching like tires on pavement, "Stay away from that drain or I'll call your parents." My skin still crawls. Looking back, Tubby and I thought she was old then, but they say some turtles can live for centuries